A Matter Of Choice & Unforseen Circumstances
by The Watch Stander
Summary: Chapter Two addedSim, Trip and T'pol come to terms with those choices. Trip's POV afterwards & his relationship with T'Pol
1. Default Chapter

                                      **A Matter of Choice**

**The Watch Stander**

Drama/Friendship

Paramount Owns Enterprise and all of its crew. The wonderful interpretation of these characters is owned by the cast of Enterprise. The fun of writing this story about these characters is owned by me and is no way intended to infringe on any of these rights and is done without payment or profit on my part

Sim was once again sitting in Tucker's quarters. He looked around the neat room and sensed Trip's presence everywhere. It was only after the captain had left that he found the picture of Trip & Archer posed in a picture together. Sim knew they were friends, but seeing the picture confirmed it. Next to it was a picture of Trip's sister Lizzie and the realization that she was dead brought an ache into his heart, for in many ways she was his sister too.

Putting the pictures back on the shelf, he wondered what he was going to do. Archer had said it was up to him, but you could see the desperation in those intense green eyes of his and Sim knew the Captain was backed into a corner.

 If he let Sim live then his friend Trip died. Only to be followed a few days later by Sim, so in reality he really lost twice. Two people instead of just one, it presented a dilemma no doubt.

 Somehow, he found himself actually feeling sorry for Archer.

 _Especially since I have most of Trip's memories and Archer was Trip's best friend._

There were a lot of fond memories of Archer for the Captain had spent the last ten years being a friend to the engineer. He had also saved Trip's life twice, so it was no real surprise that Archer would be so desperate to do it once again.

The Captain was also not someone who made friends easily and he had proven that by keeping Sim at arms distance so as not to become conflicted in his purpose. The closeness Archer shared with Trip was as if they were brothers, not just best friends. Losing Trip would probably break his heart.

_I really wouldn't want to be in his shoes._

_And what of T'Pol? _

_How does she feel about me, or is it Trip that she thinks about? Wish I knew her better, for I envy Trip the closeness that they shared._

He sat there for a long time, trying to decide what to do. Maybe running away was the answer; no one would need to make a decision that way. There would be no guilt on the Captain's part and Phlox would be spared as well, for the Doctor too had shown his empathy in what Sim was going through. All these people were part of his life now as well as Trip's and he wanted to spare them any more pain. It sounded noble, but it was true. The natural order of things would take place, Trip would die and so would he, but it wouldn't be the fault of others. They could blame him.

_It would make things so much easier._

                                      **************************

Phlox was standing in the shadows of sickbay when the Captain came in and stood beside Commander Tucker's bedside. Phlox walked away quietly to the back office where he wouldn't disturb Archer for he knew why the Captain was here. 

_I gave him this choice, but at the time, I felt it was the right thing to do to save Commander Tucker's life. He is such an integral part of this crew and the Captain needs him now more than ever.    _

For the past, few months Phlox had watched as Archer slowly evolved into the hardened man that was in the other room. Phlox had also seen the effect of that on the Captain's and Commander Tucker's friendship. Archer's focus on the mission had eaten away at him and taken away most of the closeness that the two men shared. 

The Captain Archer they were left with now was a ruthless and driven man, obsessed with finding the Xindi and their weapon at any cost. This left Commander Tucker on his own to find an end to his grief over the death of his sister. Fortunately, Lt Reed had stepped in to take Archer's place and befriended the engineer. T'Pol had also proven willing to come to the Commander's aid and had helped immensely. With their help, Commander Tucker was able to contain most of his hatred and begin to function almost normally. He was once again part of the crew, but no longer the Captain's best friend. Archer had pushed him aside and treated him as just another officer.

 Phlox had found this development most disturbing. For the Captain to isolate himself like this was not healthy. He needed a friend and confidant and Trip was that friend. There was no way the Doctor would stand by and allow Commander Tucker to die and therefore condemn the Captain to a life devoid of that close friendship. Even though Archer wouldn't admit it, he needed Commander Tucker and not just as an engineer, he needed his friend. Just like they all needed the amiable man back as part of the crew on this mission. A mission that Phlox referred to as The Mission to Hell. 

Therefore, he sat here with his own thoughts, waiting for Captain Archer to make up his mind as to what he would do. There was nothing more Phlox could do. Both Archer and Sim would have to decide what they each wanted and what sacrifice each would make. 

 _Commander Tucker's life is literally in their hands._

                                ***********************

Archer stood by Trip's bedside in sickbay. He looked at Trip lying there so still with his face pale and ghostly, put in this position because of a freak accident not of his making. The test would have run perfectly if it hadn't been for the anomalies they had run into. Once more Jon cursed this part of space as he realized if they hadn't come here, Trip wouldn't be dying.

_And I wouldn't have to make this decision to sacrifice someone else to save him._

Saving Trip would mean the sacrifice of someone who looked like Trip, acted like Trip and in many ways was Trip. But Archer knew Sim wasn't Trip and he wanted his friend back not a copy or a substitute.

It sounded so selfish, but it was tearing Archer apart. So much of him wanted Trip back, but the other part knew the price that having him back would cost.

A part of Archer's very soul.

_I feel so disloyal! Trip would do anything for me and has proven that, but what am I willing to do to save him?_

And so he stood there looking down at his best friend, wondering which part of him would win this battle and what it would cost him in the end. 

_Which part of my soul am I willing to give up.       _

                                  *************************

T'Pol was in her quarters meditating, trying to decide how she would deal with what Sim had told her about his feelings for her. However, what had disturbed her most was that Sim wasn't sure if those feelings were his or Commander Tucker's.

Never would she ever have thought that she and the emotional and unpredictable Commander would develop a friendship, never mind a possible romantic involvement. They had discussed the gossip about their sessions of course, but that was just to clear the air so they both were aware of the gossip and its implications.

A romantic involvement with the Commander was something she had not anticipated, but Sim had revealed those feelings to her, standing before her the image of Commander Tucker at a young age. Completely honest in his innocence and not having the maturity to know what things he should say and not say. 

She wondered at what age Commander Tucker had learned to hide his feelings. Possibly when he failed in one or more of the relationships he had mentioned to her. He must have learned to hide his true feelings and just tease people never letting them know how he really felt. It was a part of the human makeup she didn't understand.

 _Vulcans were always honest and said exactly what they thought,_

_ Or did they?_

Suddenly, she realized that even she hid things inside not wanting to be hurt as well. 

It was a question that needed an answer, but she might never get that answer if Commander Tucker didn't live. That thought unto itself disturbed her and she had been trying to push it out of her mind since the day Captain Archer had told her the Commander might not live. The shock she had felt when he told her went unnoticed by the Captain since he also seemed to be absorbed in his own agony over the possible death of his friend. 

He had assigned her to oversee the repairs and she had spent days working in engineering trying to keep busy and not allow herself to think of a certain human with deep blue eyes that always brightened when he teased her. 

_I miss him, _ 

It was the first honest thing she had admitted to herself in a very long time. Now that she had admitted it, the thought was acceptable.

The Commander was someone that she cared about. Their sessions together had brought him closer to her than anyone that she had ever known. He had become part of her world and that world would be a lot lonelier without him.

If Commander Tucker died, he would be taking a piece of her with him.

_And I don't know what I will do without him....._

                                        ********************


	2. Unforseen Consequences

             **A Matter Of Choice Pt2- Unforeseen Consequences** The Watch Stander 

**AN**: This is for those who asked for more and all the rest of T&T shippers. Enjoy!

**Spoilers for Similitude.**

                                            ************

Sim's plan to run away slowly dissolved before him, there was no place to go and dying alone in the shuttle was not an option he would choose. Therefore, he waited for Archer to find him in the shuttle bay, knowing he would eventually come looking for him. What other choice did Archer have? 

_After all, I'm all he has left to use to save his friend. _

In the end though, it was really up to Sim to decide. Archer had left it at that, unable to carry out the threat he had made and force Sim to go through with it.

_Maybe I remind him of Trip so much, that it would be like killing his friend._

I feel sorry for him and ask him to tell Trip to watch out for himself. I can see the relief in Archer's eyes, when he realized  I meant it and planned on helping. It took away that mantle of grief from his shoulders and gave him new hope. 

Sim left the shuttle area and went back to his quarters to wait for the time when he would be needed and to spend the time that was left, alone, thinking about everyone and everything. 

Archer had come by unexpectedly and brought Porthos to keep Sim company. It was a thoughtful gesture and he remembered how exhausted Archer now looked. All this must have been tearing him apart inside.

Finally, it was time to leave and he reluctantly left Porthos on the bed. The dog wagged his tail as Sim petted him one last time. Somehow, it seemed that Porthos was the only one on Enterprise that didn't want or expect anything from him. He was just content to be with Sim. 

T'pol had surprised him, coming to see him at the very last moment. There was sadness in her eyes that spoke volumes of how she felt. At that very moment, he really didn't mind if it was for him or Trip, only that she had come to say goodbye. She had kissed him and that made it all right, knowing that she at least had given him something to believe in, that she cared for him, Trip, or maybe even both of them.

Inside he knew how he felt about her and maybe Trip felt the same. Sim would do this for her, knowing it would make her happy having Trip back. 

He would make this sacrifice for both her and Lizzie. It was the right thing to do. 

It would mean ending his life early, but then, all he had left was a few more days.

 _In the end, I would be just as dead.  _

                                  ***************************

When Trip first awoke he couldn't remember what had happened, then finally it all came back to him, falling from the railing and landing on his back striking his head.

 Jon and Phlox were both here at his bedside glad to see him. 

Jon's face showed so much emotion on it that it was painful for even Trip to see. The captain was unshaven and looked like he hadn't slept in a week. It was so unlike him to be this way that it made Trip wonder what had happened while he had been unconscious.

Jon had drawn a chair up to Trip's bedside and proceeded to tell him what had gone on while he was in the coma.

 From that moment on Trip's world was turned upside down, for nothing would ever be the same.

The next day he had attended the funeral surrounded by his engineering dept and was joined there by Travis and Hoshi who drew protectively close to him. He was glad of their company as it gave him the strength to be there. T'Pol as first officer was near the casket with Malcolm and the honor guard. 

Trip hadn't seen the body, for they had removed it from sickbay before he had awoken. He had no idea what Sim even looked like, until now.

Standing here now he had a full view of Sim in the coffin and the face that stared back at him was his! 

It came as such a shock that his legs had felt weak and if it hadn't been for Hoshi grabbing his hand and arm to give support, he probably would have fainted. Somehow, he got through it and stayed till the very end. He even watched as the casket was shot into space, feeling like a piece of him went with it.

 What that piece was he didn't know, only that he would somehow miss it. For Sim had his memories, but he also had his own from the past week and Trip would never know what they were. Sim had been here with his friends and had made them care. It made Trip feel like he had missed out on something.

John's eulogy alone spoke volumes of the respect everyone felt for Sim and how he had made the supreme sacrifice for all. 

Trip felt like Jon was talking about him and if things had been different he would be in that coffin and not Sim. His eyes started to water as he listened and he had to look down at his feet to regain control over his emotions. Every word going through him like a knife knowing this person had died to save him. 

For now he had to live with what had happened and it was a heavy burden on his heart, for he could tell that everyone had liked Sim.

People still came up to him and told him how glad they were that he had come out of his coma. It made him wonder,

_Who do they see standing here, me or …Sim?_

 It was something he was going to have to live with and accept for there was no going back. 

                                        ******************

T'Pol saw Trip at the funeral and it was the first time she had seen him since he had come out of his coma, for she had been in charge of ship's repairs and hadn't had time to visit him. His face had looked pale and drawn and he seemed lost. 

How would she react when she finally faced him, she didn't know. Her Vulcan discipline could hide her feelings from others, but her heart would know what those feelings were and she couldn't hide them from herself. 

They had buried Sim that day, and his sacrifice was well noted, but what was the cost of that to the man who stood across the room, utterly lost and confused by it all. Listening to a eulogy that might have been his if, they hadn't intervened. 

Later that day she called him and asked him to come to her quarters for a session. When he tried to say no she insisted and finally he had agreed to come. His voice was soft and his tone not the usual cheerful one she had come to know, but she was glad to hear it anyway. Thankful that he was back in her world and not in that casket that was now in space.

Now she knew how Captain Archer had felt when faced with losing this man forever. 

She would have done anything to save him. 

                                ****************************

He stood outside T'Pol's door hesitating to ring the door chime. He didn't know how he felt about all that had happened, never mind how other people felt about him. T'Pol was the one person he knew he could count on. One of her best qualities was her strength and conviction and he needed that now. He needed someone he could trust, so he rang the chime and held his breath hoping she would be glad to see him.

T'Pol heard the chime and composed herself, but her heart was racing and she couldn't control that. She managed to say come in, with what she hoped was a normal voice. One that didn't give away the fact that she was having trouble controlling her feelings knowing that he would soon be standing before her.

He entered and there stood the man she knew once again as Commander Tucker. 

His blue eyes were the same blue as Sim's, but different. That was a maturity in them that Sim's had lacked and there was also a depth of feeling that came with that maturity. All of Sim's feelings and innocence were also part of this man that stood before her, looking so lost that it made her heart ache for him. They had been there all along, but kept hidden by him so none could see that vulnerability.

Something else had been hidden and was now there for her to see if she wanted to. 

He had expected to see the stoic Vulcan that was always so reserved before him in the doorway. To his surprise he found T'Pol looking at him with her beautiful eyes studying his, seeming to look into his soul and finding his most hidden feelings exposed there for her to see. 

There was something else in her eyes as well and he knew it was for him. Inside he rejoiced and then smiled as he suddenly realized what that something was… 

She cared for him.

Suddenly, she was reaching for his hand and leading him inside, and as he looked in her eyes he knew that things from this day forward would never be the same.

 They would be better, at least in their world.

 Trip reached for her and she came to him as the door closed behind them….


End file.
